Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice, by Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
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Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice, by Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
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Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Tsigdinos discussed the stubborn persistence of the condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses. An accompanying health feature story produced astonishment and relief that someone was candidly addressing the trauma and legacy of infertility. Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. In the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Tsigdinos' writing explored the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues following prolonged failed attempts to conceive. Now 10 years outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, Tsigdinos brings us Finally Heard: The Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice. In an intentionally short ebook designed in the Kindle Singles model, it incorporates wisdom from ‘Generation IVF’ designed to spark discussion about the little discussed aftermath of fertility treatments. Finally Heard moves beyond the personal to examine the complex inter-relationship of the psychological, social and cultural implications of ‘Generation IVF.’ Today’s cultural preoccupation with parenting and the growing commercial focus of the for-profit fertility industry has birthed a fear-driven patient/consumer population and society ill-equipped to process reproductive failure. Tsigdinos makes clear that the disproportionate emphasis on ‘magical thinking’ and the new industry focus on 'social egg freezing' has bred an expectation of parenthood. This creates new challenges and decisions not only for women but for parents who may one day be called upon to counsel children on decisions around reproductive health.
Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice, by Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos- Amazon Sales Rank: #803814 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-05-01
- Released on: 2015-05-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review "Adroitly challenging the stereotypical ideological framework of what living with infertility really looks like, Finally Heard examines with insight, heart, and sensitivity the psychological, emotional, and physical manifestations of infertility. Pamela bravely and authentically reflects what millions of women around the world face, and offers a real sisterhood experience. It declares the most powerful words, 'me too.' " --Tracey Cleantis, author of the best-selling The Next Happy: Let Go of the Life You Planned and Find a New Way Forward.""In Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos' new book, 'Finally Heard,' she charts the next stage of her journey since 'Silent Sorority' -- the part where she began to realise that the worst of her grief was behind her, yet the rest of her life was still ahead of her. Pamela has become one of my 'hell-no-way-are-we-going-to-be-silent-any-more' sorority sisters from around the world. As Pamela shows in this pithy short book, there are many ways to express the 'mothering' aspect of ourselves and much work to be done in the personal, medical, cultural and political spheres." -- Jody Day, author of Rocking the Life Unexpected"In Silent Sorority, Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos tackled taboos and blazed a trail by sharing the raw and painful truth of her infertility journey and subsequent struggle to come-to-terms with a life without children. Six year later, in Finally Heard, she steps forward again, this time as a wise mentor. She shares hard-won lessons and offers a levelheaded exposé of the fertility industry, the motherhood gap, and society's slowly changing perceptions of the role of childless women." - Lisa Manterfield, award-winning author of I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home
About the Author Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she'd be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Tsigdinos discussed the stubborn persistence of the condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses. An accompanying health feature story produced astonishment and relief that someone was candidly addressing the trauma and legacy of infertility.Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. In the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Tsigdinos' writing explored the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues following prolonged failed attempts to conceive. Now 10 years outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, Tsigdinos brings us Finally Heard: The Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. A needed conversation! By Brittany Kelly In a world the does not like to see or feel grief, loss and not getting what we want, there is no other place where this reality stings more than infertility. This book brings some of the issues that women face in that experience and we need a larger conversation about this so we don't have to grieve alone.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. (They would also make great journaling or blogging prompts By loribeth I first discovered Pamela Tsigdinos's original blog, Coming2Terms, in 2007. Back then, there were few blogs or other resources for those of us who left the roller coaster of infertility treatments without a baby -- so I was thrilled to find someone whose situation so closely matched my own -- and not only that, wrote about it so very well. In the years since then, Pamela has continued to write about, inspire and advocate for "infertility survivors," including an award-winning memoir in 2009, "Silent Sorority."And now, we have "Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice." Much of the material covered here will be familiar to regular readers of Pamela's blog and other writing, but presented in one cohesive document, it gains new impact. The topics she discusses in this e-book include:•the transformative impact of infertility (one that most of us are completely unprepared for), including the effect it has on our relationships with friends and family members;•the "blind spots" and hidden biases we all subscribe to, often unconsciously, which set us up for the culture wars that pit parents against non-parents;•the pitfalls of the fertility industry, which remains highly unregulated in many countries while raking in money from desperate couples, despite ART failure rates in the range of 70 to 77 per cent;•the social stigma faced by those who leave fertility treatments without a baby;•the "indescribably delicious" feeling of connecting with others in the same situation (often through the Internet) -- "kindred spirits" who help create a healing environment that allows many to move forward; and•the weirdness of being a childless woman in a culture where, "if you're not a mother, you don’t rate... For the benefit of all in our society, we need to rethink how we value and characterize the contributions of those who are not parents."There are questions at the very end of the book to prompt classroom or book club discussions. (They would also make great journaling or blogging prompts.)Pamela confesses that, during her post-IVF "coming to terms" journey, "I craved a mentor or role model who could show me that my life wouldn’t be ‘less than’ or empty for never having walked the well-worn parenthood path – for releasing a cherished dream." Eventually, as she encountered other women struggling to answer the question "what's next?" after unsuccessful infertility treatments, she realized, "When no obvious role model exists why spend all my time looking for one? Why not, instead, try to become one?" Pamela has been a great role model and mentor, for me and for so many others, and I am glad she has produced this thought-provoking follow-up to "Silent Sorority."
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Finding Altitude, Challenging an Industry By A Reader This follow-up to the seminal memoir Silent Sorority does two things: it chronicles the author's continued recovery after the life-upending experience of unexplained infertility, and it shines a spotlight on an often irresponsible and exploitive fertility industry.Anyone who's followed Pam's blog, seen her work in The New York Times, or read her interviews in the international press (which was much more open to her message) knows that she's been at the forefront of speaking the unspeakable. She has been talking about this for a long time, and slowly, the mainstream media, and therefore, society, is starting to listen, and I'm starting to see some of her message seep through the thick membrane of mainstream media.This book begins what I hope is a long indictment of a fertility industry that's currently operating in a Wild West regulatory environment (at least in the U.S.) that doesn't care about the long term health of its guinea pigs, and that financially exploits desperate would-be parents.This book includes links to psychological studies and research papers that spotlight both the fertility industry, and the battered psychological state of its veterans, who in the vast majority of cases, wind up without a child.Pam is a skilled professional journalist and communicator. This book is well-written and ground-breaking, and the material in it, particularly that on the fertility industry, belongs in an Atlantic Magazine expose, or The New York Times Magazine.
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